Do you love me?
by lori-la-strange
Summary: Set after "Party". Friendship, confusion and some fun surprises are in store...
1. Chapter 1

**What happens after "Party". Slight spoilers with romance and a wacky adventure later on (with a returning villain - possibly!). Just something I wanted to do. First fic so please be kind! **

Disclaimer: Not mine. As if I could think of something as cool as The Mighty Boosh! Belongs to Julian Barratt and Noel Fielding.

Arrgh! My head. Well I suppose that's what you get when you mix a lethal combination of flirtinis, killer electro tunes and bouncy castles. A genius mixture that all adds up to one of my parties. That's right. It was MY party! What? It was! OK it may have been Howard's birthday...but he's the elephant man to my Mick Jagger! They weren't all there to see him ('Cept for creepy Lester). Slightly harsh of me to say I know, but I can't help being all annoyed with him today. Because he...Well he...Whatever.

I'm just glad Naboo was at the party last night - imagine his face today if he wasn't! All them Camden dolly birds and pirates trashed the flat like a funky, technicoloured whirlwind. There they were - throwing up, throwing shapes, throwing Tony Harrison...The usual stuff. He'd have gone all Crouching Tiger on us...like a tiny blue ninja. But no. Here he is. Passed out on the sofa, looking all glamorous. Bet he was sick in his turban and all! Imagine that! And he tries to tell me a shamans consumption is higher than a hippy at Woodstock. Nutter! Yeah I'm rambling, but it's my head so you'll just have to deal!

Can't believe I'm the first one up. That's mental! I don't know what's up with Bollo. The sassy ape was last seen lumbering off into the night in a threatening manner. Chasing Fossil I think. Apparently he crept into the party and Bouncer Bollo was having none of it. Shoved a banana up his...Anyway, I don't know where he could be now. We all know where Naboo is. And Howard...well who cares? Not me. Nuh-uh. Not one bit. I don't care at all if he's gone off with that American lady he met at the party. Walking glitter ball she is. What's that? Look who's talking?! Cheeky bitches! Anyway, like I was saying, I don't care anyway. Honest.

"What are you doing up already Vince?" Enquired Howard Moon. Jazz spaz. He was wearing last nights clothes and was clearly in desperate need of a shower. But Vince's heart quickened at the sight of him. And not just because he made him jump!

"Howard!" Yelped Vince "You made me spill me cornflakes! Ah look at them. They've all gone overboard. All over the floor. I'm not picking them up!"

"Well you're gonna have to help pick up some of this stuff. The wreckage from my party." Reasoned Howard sleepily. His hair all stuck up oddly. "What happened to your GI diet of only Malt Loaf anyway? Cornflakes aren't very rock n roll are they little man?"

"But I am having chocolate milk on them!" Reasoned Vince, his eyes lighting up," Just like Bowie!"

"How on Earth could you possibly know that Bowie has chocolate milk on them Vince? You made that up!"

"Did not. All the greats have that on them..." Insisted Vince, unusually trailing off. He cleared his throat awkwardly, "Where's that girl then?" For some reason his voice was unusually high

"You mean Nina?" Asked Howard as he dreamily slid into a seat at the kitchen table.

"Oh it has a name?!" Asked Vince sourly.

"Vince! Never talk about my soul mate like that. Or I'll come at ya like a breezeblock of pain!"

"Yeah, yeah whatever. Soul mate? Hey, I paid her to talk to you in the shop! Just to make you have that party" He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. What was wrong with him anyway?

"How dare you try to sully our love! Yes sir. It's the real deal." Sighed Howard, unfazed. "She's perfect. With that American accent and love of jazz...I honestly thought you blew it for me when you told her we kissed. But I should have known, our love was stronger..."

Vince blushed at the mention of the kiss. "Oh per-lease. You're sounding like a love struck pigeon. All cooing and... "

"Pigeon?! What are you on about?" Asked Howard confused.

"Aw I don't know." Frowned Vince. An uneasy silence followed which was definitely unusual for them.

"Anyway, as I was saying. Our love is fate. We talked all night and then I walked her home and kissed her goodnight. We're meeting again tonight."

"Hmmmm. Now she's completely sober, we'll see what she thinks of you." Added Vince spitefully

"Shut up! She's warm for the form of Howard Moon. Yes sir. Once you fall for Howard Moon you stay fallen" Howard replied smugly as he walked off to the bathroom for a shower.

"Don't I know it." Whispered Vince sadly as soon as his best friend was out of the room.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks so much for all your kind reviews...they made my day and made me want to keep writing xxx

Disclaimer: Yep still not mine! The lovely Julian Barratt and Noel Fielding own The mighty Boosh.

Oh no I did not just say that.

I did not just think that I'm in love with Howard Moon.

That's just plain crazy! He's my best friend!!! And not too mention he's a bit of a ball-bag (well, as Naboo would say anyway!). These weird feelings are just because he was driving me crazy with all that lovey-dovey talk. Ew! If I'd have had to spend one more minute listening to that, I'd have blow dried my own brains out! And anyway, I'm The Confuser - that's me! NOT him.

"Is he a boy? Is he a girl? Who cares?! He's hot!" That's what people say about ME! Not Howard. I'M the one who makes people question their own sexuality. Not that I'm questioning my sexuality. I AM NOT! Oh, quit your smirking!

Vince paced around the empty kitchen. Obviously, he was freaking. Why did he feel so weird at the mention of Howard's "true love"? And even more bewilderingly, why hadn't he pulled with the girl he'd met at the party? He hadn't even taken in her name. All he could think of as they chatted was something along the lines of this...

"Howard's rejecting me? _HOWARD'S rejecting ME?! HOWARD'S REJECTING ME?!?!?!?!?!?" _

Needless to say, he did not pull. Especially after calling her Howard!

"Morning Vince", Yawned the tiny blue shaman.

"Oh! Alright Naboo?"

"Been better. You know a good dry cleaner?"

"What?"

"Dry cleaner. It seems someone threw up in my turban. Not me of course." He lisped hastily.

Vince tired to repress a smile. "Sure it wasn't"

"Where's Bollo? I'll have him run it over."

Vince shrugged unenthusiastically. Naboo leaned closer in concern, "Are **you** OK?"

"Sure why wouldn't I be? I'm fine. Nothing's new with me. Nuh-uh. No weird changes at all. I'm as happy as Santa in a poncho...yeah...", he trailed off lamely.

"Now I know there's something wrong."

"How come?" Asked Vince, giving him the old I'm-An-Innocent-Electro-Puppy-Dog-Look. "Im made of sunshine. I'm always ok!"

"Well, first of all your hair's a mess and - quite frankly - you're speaking like a deranged turkey. Gibbering away. And I'm a shaman so don't bother giving me that look of denial! It just won't work."

Vince frowned. First of all in horror (his hair!), then in annoyance (_though I guess "turkey" is better than being called "ball bag"!_) and finally in frustration of being read so easily.

Better tell him the truth. Before he reads my entire mind! Jeez, imagine that! Creepy blue puma man he is... Thought Vince, marvelling at the little guy's powers. 

He let out a sigh. _Say it! Say it now!_

"Howardandmekissedlastnight!"

Slower you Jack of Clubs!

"Hooww-arrd- aaaand-"

"You and Howard kissed last night?" Interrupted Naboo. There was a slight trace of shock in his otherwise lucid expression.

Oh forget it - stop saying it!

"Yeah-yeah. So what? I was drunk. Well not really. But it really was a life or death situation! Head Shaman had gone flipping mental! He was gonna kill me," Gabbled Vince in a panic.

"But still..."

"Yeah like you're so innocent. I saw you. Flashing your lack of privates about the place! Yikes, what was with that by the way?!"

"You 'aint seen nothing," Insisted Naboo undistracted _(Damn!),_ "And that's not all of it. I can tell."

Vince was cornered. He was going to confess all when suddenly (_and luckily! Don't forget luckily!) _the phone rang.

But Naboo was blocking the path to it with a determinedly intense look that seemed to say, "You will confess all to me. We have ways of making you talk Mr Noir. Ball bag."

So the machine got it.

"Hi Howard. It's me, Old -I mean- Nina. I was thinking, maybe you'd wanna come over to my place. For lunch or something. Or not. Later is still good. You remember the address right Howard? 13 Hallow Road. Come by when you like. Bye Howard."

Vince's face crumpled. Guess he wouldn't have to say anything to Naboo after all. His face said it all really.


	3. Chapter 3

**OMG! It's official, You guys rock! Thanks so much for your reviews. They mean a lot to me ("YAY! People like my story!") **

Guess the last chapter wasn't subtle enough...! I'm addicted to this story but I may have to slow down because I have a lot of A-level stuff to do sighs :-(

Can anyone remember what Nina's real name is in the show? Oh well, Nina will do for now! It's gone a little sappy this time. But I know you won't mind (I hope!)

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Disclaimer: You know the deal. Noel Fielding and Julian Barratt own it right!

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"Oh my god! Oh no! They're gonna get together! THEY'RE GONNA GET TOGETHER!! Oh no! They're gonna get married! Then they'll have lot's of tiny, evil minion jazz babies - with moustaches and they'll live in a jazz bar! And they'll all run around singing jazz and I won't be able to visit him anymore 'coz I'm like, all allergic to jazz! Oh Naboo! That sounds dreadful! He's moving too fast! I don't want him to be made of jazz!!"

"WHAT?!" Naboo stared at him in astonishment, one eyebrow raised as Vince gasped for breath.

"You heard me! HE'S! -gasp- MY! -gasp- HOWARD!-gasp..."

"Vince! Are you hyperventilating?"

"Nah...I-just-can't-breathe!"

Naboo rolled his eyes. He was about to say something reassuring when Vince suddenly leapt into action towards the living room...

"I've gotta delete it!" He declared, racing towards the machine.

"No you are NOT!" Bellowed Naboo

"But it's my duty! People need the \Howard!" Vince desperately insisted.

"But it's not your right!" Shouted Naboo as he leapt on the taller man's back _(like a puma! See? I told you he's a puma!) _in one swift motion!

"Ack! Get off me you spanner! This is just unnatural - how strong **are** you?! Eeee! You're on my hair!" Shrieked Vince in a panic as he dragged himself along with little Naboo in tow.

"So? I'll pull it in a minute!"

"You wouldn't dare!" Vince yelled, but he sounded uncertain...

"OWWWW!!!! LET GO YOU DEMONIC LIMPET!" He roared in pain.

"STOP WALKING THEN DUMMY!" Retorted Naboo.

"I HAVE!" Roared Vince in defeat, " YOU FREAKISHLY STRONG MIDGET! Happy now?!"

Vince stopped lumbering forward and Naboo dropped gracefully off his back (well as gracefully as a guy who had just been riding an electro mod bare back could manage!). They both stood in the middle of the room staring at each other as Vince rubbed the tips of his hair, trying to nurse the life back into it.

"You've killed it," Mumbled Vince miserably, "Why Naboo? How could you?!"

"I'm sorry. But you were acting like a crazy pillock. It just had to be done." He said seriously, without a trace of regret.

"I'm acting crazy?!" Yelped Vince, "You're the one who tried to ride me like a Goth pony AND you practically yanked all of me hair out. Which by the way, if you ever do again, I will tie you up with gaffa tape and shove you in the the post box. Special delivery - to the Hitcher!" A silence followed his outburst.

"You love him don't you?"

"Love who?" Asked Howard strolling in from the bathroom, his hair still damp and floppy from his shower. Vince's heart sped up.

"No-one!" Gabbled Vince, which surprised Howard. Vince started to feel very uneasy...

"Jagger!" Covered Naboo, "He loves Mick Jagger!"

"Oh yeah - Good 'Ol Jagger- can't get enough of him me!" agreed Vince in a rush, starting to relax a bit.

"Well, it's good you can finally admit it little man," Smiled Howard "Is that a new message?"

The ill feeling crept up on him again. His voice caught in his throat as he hesitated for a moment, "Yeah Howard. It's for you."

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Howard slowly walked along to Nina's flat, dawdling as he went. This was surprising as he hadn't been on a date since...well, ever. He should have been racing there, faster than the way he raced from that Jazz Virus.

Oh yeah. That killer Jazz Virus. Ironic really -him trying to kill me- seeing as I love jazz so much. Sigh Well I had to do it. I had to face him to save Vince - even if he had been a complete arse to me (my rare record! Gone! All gone! Sob-sob!). But that's me for you. A hero. An adventurer. A boundary eater...

No. Who am I kidding? I was more terrified of loosing Vince than being shrunk down to a microscopic level and being injected into his blood stream to face several unfriendly cells who were intent on dissolving me like a bath bomb. And that's not mentioning the psychotic (yet strangely familiar...) Jazz Virus who had it in for me and a particularly dangerous blind sidekick who was even more of a threat to me then Mr Jazz Virus. And he was supposed to be on MY side! Just an average day for me. Vince just brings that out in you. This feeling that you want to protect him at all costs because he brightens up your life and makes the world seem like a more beautiful place...uh hum. Yes, naturally I make people feel that way too. They just hide it well. Of course!

I doubt Vince feels that way about me. not that I'd ever tell him this. No sir. No way. He'd crease up laughing and would call me a spaz. Oh well.

I also doubt he even thinks about our kiss. I do. I can't help it. I know I played it cool but I can't help that either. The power of it scared me. But he was using me to save his life **-again-** may I add! He doesn't even seem bothered about Nina. OK he was acting a little weird but that's probably just the hangover. I've got to move on with my life...

But he **is **my life.

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As Howard approached Nina's flat, a lone figure watched him from her window.

She sipped some Baileys, and smiled to herself...


	4. Chapter 4

**Yes I'm updating already! I'm trying to finish this before I get bogged down with more coursework!**

**Again thanks for the reviews. They makes me happy and are very appreciated. So glad you're enjoying it.**

**And thanks for the wishing me good luck Shadowtheo. I think I'll need it hehe!**

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**Disclaimer: Noel Fielding's and Julian Barratt's of course. I swear something will happen in this chapter! Right after this of course...Even though it's the day but never mind!!**

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**"**Soa...Howard Moon has gone to see hisa new girlfriend...Well, I think that's what happened. You know...sometimes when you are the moon...I would like to have a girlfriend. But it' flipping hard to go on a date. No-one's ever tall enough to kiss you.

But sometimes...I think that's OK. Because when you are the moon, you can spy on everyone down bellow...

I'm the moon."

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"She just seemed to eager is all I'm saying - you know what I mean? I bet she's a great big slut. Or a transvestite like that Eleanor...She's only known him five minutes and there she is, asking him out to lunch, It's not right."

"Uh huh"

"I bet something's wrong with her. I know! Maybe she's part Sea Bass. Yeah! And she'll be all - _'Come here Howwward...let me kiss you with my biiig sea bass lips!'_ Or I bet she's deformed with a third hand or something like that. Yeah, I bet that's it!"

"Sure"

"Naboo? Are you even listening to me? Naboolio?" Vince moved closer, "You've got your headphones on you vixen!" He cried, pulling them out. "I can't believe it! Bumping me off for Fleetwood Mac!"

"Vince. You've been rambling on for almost an hour now. It's getting kind of old." Sighed Naboo

"Like your taste in music. Yuck!" Fumed Vince.

"Don't go insulting the Mac Vince. They've got some powerful juju going on" He replied absent mindedly as he picked up some empty beer bottles. "Come on Vince. Stop moping and help me clean up."

"I am!"

"Flitting around with a duster in a red frilly apron with matching skinny jeans and a polka-dot bandana? Not helping. And neither is your ranting."

"Well you didn't listen to my plan of enchanting the brooms and dusters to clean by themselves! And don't give me that 'Against Shaman Oath' speech - I know you could do it if you wanted!"

"Yeah because it worked so well for Mickey Mouse" Said Naboo sarcastically, "You're driving me crazy! And a shaman's sanity is not hard to break!"

"Tell that to Mr-I'm-Gonna-Decapitate-You Head Shaman man" Muttered Vince (_though I suppose he **did** give me an excuse to kiss Howard...)_

"AAAAH!" Cried Vince in VERY understandable alarm at what he had found hidden beneath an empty packet of twiglets, "I knew it Naboo! I knew it! Look at that!"

"Oh no! You were right!" Agreed Naboo looking very worried about what Vince had discovered.

"We have to find Howard right now! And Bollo too, we'll need all his monkey strength!"

"Not necessarily. I have a plan. But it wouldn't hurt to have Bollo as a back up. Where is his monkey anus anyway?"

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"Ah you hospitalised me you silly bitch!", Cried Bob Fossil

"Bollo not sorry. No-one gatecrashes Vince's party."

Fossil was sat at an odd angle on the little plastic chairs in the A E. Guess Bollo got him with that banana after all...

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"Never mind about him! Naboo...It's _Howard_." There was such a desperate look of panic and worry in Vince's eyes that Naboo found he was genuinely moved. Touched by his friend's overwhelming love and concern for Howard that was summed up in one small word. 

"Don't worry. I'm Naboo that's who. And I've got a plan."

Yeah that's not that reassuring coming from you Naboo. Remember how you handled the Spirit of Jazz??? That ended with some waaay dodgy penatration...

Only he didn't say that. He was far too worried to argue for once.

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"Uh...Nina. This is a very nice lunch and all but...well...I'm not sure how to say this but...um...isn't the fish meant to be cooked?"

"No. It's sushi Howard."

"Well headless then?"

"It's Japanese Howard."

"At least gutless?!"

"It's my speciality Howard." She purred in her accent, smiling creepily. It was a smile that chilled Howard to the bone.

There was something too familiar about this situation. The odd little phrases she occasionally used were strangely familiar too _("You like this? You can keep it!")_. He had only stayed so long because she'd looked so stunning - with her dark hair and moody eyes. She had charmed him with her knowledge of jazz and amusing anecdotes. He'd almost forgotten about Vince. But now...well, she was acting a little weird. The "sushi" fish was one thing that an easy going person could excuse...but was there really any need to paint funky lipstick smiles on them?! It was like her magical charms were wearing off on him.

Well done Howard. You sure can pick them! Get out of here now you fool! She's obviously a real whacko!

"I have to go Nina. I'm sorry."

"Why's that Howard?" She stood up, blocking his path to the door (_and freedom! Freeedom!!!!). _There was a crazy look in her eye that he did not like at all.

"Where y'going Howard? Don't you wanna little drinky?"

That one small question sparked a deep fear that had been suppressed within him for so long.

Oh no. No! No! No! It couldn't be! Howard panicked and closed his eyes tight in horror, hoping it was just a dream. Or severe deja-vous. 

But he couldn't have been more wrong.

He opened his eyes.

He opened his eyes to reveal a neon nightmare in shades of seaweed green and lurid pinks. He let out an unmanly (but neccessary!) scream.

"Hi Howard. I'm Old Greeeeegg! Did you miss me?!"

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**"Muahahahahaa!!!!" (chokes!)**

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How's that for a Juicy Dangler? ;-)

Sorry it's a bit short - coursework time I'm afraid (and the fact I'm sharing a computer with my brother doesn't help). Please keep reading. Luv you all!

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	5. Chapter 5

**Hehe...I'm so sorry about the evil cliff hanger...but obviously you didn't have to wait very long! **

I'm not really sure how this site works but I really want to thank all the people who have reviewed. It really does mean a lot to me that people like it.

Thanks xxx

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Disclaimer: You know the drill by now! Julian Barratt and Noel Fielding own it.

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"Oh-god-oh-dear-oh -no-**OH-CRAP**!" Gabbled Howard, slowly backing away as if he was being cornered by a rabid (and **very** weird looking!) dog.

"I knew you missed me!" Smiled Gregg menacingly stepping closer "Look at you Howard. So overcome with emotion. You're practically crying!"

"Oh yes. I am definitely going to cry!" Howard agreed weakly.

It was like a bad dream. The worst he has ever had in his life.

No it isn't! It's more than that! It's far worse than that because I - Howard T.J Moon - have finally realised something. This is my life!!** Naturally** my girlfriend would turn into a scaly old man fish - who's as horny as hell for me and has a penchant for Baileys! Of course! It was just destined to happen - wasn't it?! After-all, this is my life we're talking about here! I can't be with the real person I love so why on Earth should I get to be with Nina?

Aw crap! Panicked Howard silently. 

"Oh Howard! I had to come and get you. That woman with the witchy hair. She dared think she could steal you- from me! - Old Gregg!" He said, sounding like he thought the idea was ludicrous.

"Woman?" Howard was momentarily confused, "Oh right, Vince!" Vince was often mistaken for a woman, so the error did not distract Howard from his terror for too long _(unfortunately!). _He felt scared, thoroughly creeped out and a little peeved that he could be so easily deceived. It was so unfair. He felt like Old Gregg had stolen Nina away from him when she was never really there at all.

"So I did a little spell. Crept around him in my nice lady meat wrapper. Now I have you aaall to myself!" It sounded more like a threat than a romantic statement. Gregg suddenly lurched forward, placing one clammy, webbed hand on Howard's shoulder.

Ugh! That's it...

"Uh you know Gregg," Gasped Howard edging away from the merman's touch, "That was a really great idea. But maybe we should take it slowly? How about the cinema tomorrow? My treat!" He added desperately whilst edging towards the door.

"What d'ya think you're doing?" Asked the devious man-fish. He wasn't fooled and Howard could tell.

"Ugh nothing! I'm just-"

He suddenly made a frantic bolt for the door, tripping as he went. But Old Gregg was to far quick for him and did a proper-and downright dirty!- rugby style tackle and knocked Howard straight to the floor!

"Oh no you don't - Fuzzy Little Man Peach!"

"Ouch!" Cried Howard, "Where the hell did learn you do that?!"

"Papa Gregg taught me!"

"Huh?!" (He's a little concussed!)

"No! I'm not letting you go that easily this time Howard Moon," Declared Old Gregg triumphantly. "Never ever, ever, ever, ever!"

"Yeah OK I get the point!" Wailed Howard mournfully, his words muffled into the carpet as he lay face down with Gregg sprawled across him. Old Gregg went silent as he carefully got off of him and Howard became very alarmed indeed.

Ack! What if I've somehow aroused him by not fighting him off enough??? I could have spurred him on!!! I know so little of his creepy ways...

THUD!

Old Gregg knocked Howard out with a single blow to the head with a heavy, blunt object.

Oh well - Thought Howard as he drifted out of consciousness - _At least he didn't use his mangina this time...__

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He woke up, tied to a chair with gaffa tape to find he was very much alone. Somehow, this seemed to be much, much worse. An unseen Gregg was far more dangerous than exhibitionist Gregg!

"Gregg? Where are you Gregg?" His eyes scanned the flat nervously. To his horror, he saw several new water colours spread across the coffee table of him unconscious!

"Ah! GREGG?!"

"Hi there."

Old Gregg suddenly bobbed into view from the nearby bedroom. He was lugging a pink, sequined suitcase along with him to join a similar one made of tweed. Howard's eyes widened.

"Going somewhere Gregg?" He asked nervously.

"Yes. We're going on a little trip together!"

"Oh that's just swell." Sighed Howard sarcastically.

"I've packed for you too Howard." He said, sounding pleased as he briefly lifted the tweed case to reveal an extremely worrying looking wardrobe for Howard (that consisted of gimpy looking black and pink PVC cat suits!).

Howard's eyebrows raised in alarm. They practically left the Earth's atmosphere _(can you blame me?!?!? Cat suit! Seriously!? Come on!)._

"Gregg, you can't just abduct me! I've got friends! They'll come looking for me!" At least Howard hoped. He especially couldn't stand the thought of not seeing a certain Goth fairy again...

"They won't see you. I've got a little carrier for you!" He said, pointing to something that looked like a man sized animal transporter. "And if you don't keep quiet...then I'll arrange a little date for you and Old Gregg's Mangina!"

"NO! Anything but that pleeeease no! I'll be good, I swear!" Cried Howard.

"Good, my little poodle pie!" (E_eek. That's a new one!)_ "I had a friend once too you know. You know who I mean. You met him. He was the funk."

"Oh! Yes I'm sorry. I don't know what happened to him," Howard said, surprised by how sad he sounded. "I last saw him sneaking off into the night with a guy called Tony Harrison." _Man, that ball sure gets around! _added Howard to himself.

"It's OK. I don't want him. Not when Old Gregg's got you now!" He smiled, leering unpleasantly at Howard.

"Ah!"

The Front door creaked open just as Old Gregg was about to sit on Howard's lap.

"Hey you alright? You must be Old Gregg.

I'm Vince Noir and it's a pleasure to meet you!"

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	6. Chapter 6

**Oooh, so the end looms nearer! I really hoped you all enjoyed it. I sure had fun writing it (trying to get into the mind of Vince Noir...wow!)**

**ACTUALLY, I might do a chapter for Howard and Vince...if you want!**

**You guys are so great. Cheers so much for all the reviews. **

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**Disclaimer: Belongs to two gorgeous men, Noel Fielding and Julian Barratt.**

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**"**Run Vince! Get out of here **now**!" Cried Howard desperately as Old Gregg slyly advanced towards Vince.

Hang on just a minute! Did I really just say that?! Shouldn't this be the part where I scream "Don't let him kill me! I have so much to give!" Or something along those lines? But now I don't seem to care about myself...that much! Not as much as I care for Vince anyway...

"What are you on about Howard?" Vince asked innocently. "I'm just popping by to say hi that's all. Then I'll be on my way!"

"What?!" Old Gregg and Howard asked simultaneously.

"You heard! I've always been intrigued by what you've told me about Old Gregg...thought I'd stop by for a natter!" He continued smoothly as Howard's jaw dropped "Love the tutu by the way Gregg. It's a bold look I'll admit...But you pull it off! Genius!"

Gregg cocked his head to one side, as if he was trying to figure out Vince's intentions. He was intensely studying him, noting Vince's eye's and how earnest they looked. Finally he suddenly absorbed what Vince had been saying and finally broke the nerve wracking silence.

"Why thank you. I got it at Top Shop," Gregg smiled and both men let out an enormous sigh of relief that he had bought it (the men that weren't part fish that is!).

"Wow that's great! I'm loving it. Don't you just love Top Shop?"

"Vince! What are you doing?!" Whispered Howard urgently. _Here I am, tied to a chair and Vince is discussing shopping?! Some things never change!_

Vince chose to ignore that, as did Gregg "They got some clothes that are good. But Gregory doesn't like shop assistants. He makes them go to sleep forever!"

"Oookaaay then..." Replied Vince nevously, "But I know what you mean. 'Cept for the psycho loony part obviously! But it does drive me crazy when they enforce the four items in the changing room rule! The cheek of it!"

"HELLO?!"

"Ssssssh Howard! We're talking!"

"He's always like that. Always such a bad boy!" Grinned Gregg with affection, "So what's he told you of Old Gregory?"

"That there's no-one like you in the whole world!" Answered Vince truthfully.

"Aw!"

"VINCE! YOU PILLOCK! YOU ARE NOT HELPING!"

"Quiet Howard! You obviously don't need me! Made that quite clear at the party last night you did...when you chose Old Gregg over me!"

"Vince...I..." Howard couldn't decide whether he was being serious or not. He sure seemed to be! But there was a slight mocking tone in his voice. Like whenever he teased him about his fashion sense. But amongst all that there was a slight trace of something else..._Is Vince actually hurt by my rejection? But he rejected me FIRST! _

"That's where I knows you from! You kissed my Howard. MY HOWARD!" Shrieked Old Gregg.

"Whoa! Calm down mate!" Laughed Vince nervously. He stepped away smartly from the cranky transvestite fish-man! "You're welcome to him! No-one rejects Vince Noir, Rock and Roll Star! You're obviously made for each other!"

"You think so?"

"Uhh sure!" Smiled Vince charmingly, relieved he had successfully tamed the loon!

Old Gregg beamed proudly at Howard, who failed to notice as he was too busy glaring menacingly at Vince!

"Vince. I'm. Gonna. Kill-"

"Anyway...I best be off. My blessings on you both!" Grinned Vince, as he handed over a token bottle of Baileys to the funky merman.

"Oh thank you! I loves my Baileys Vincey! Soft, creamy beige! Can I keep you too?!"

Vince laughed "Nah mate but I'll come visit you once you've settled in at Black Lake yeah? Turrah!"

"Vince, No! How could you?!" Howard's voice broke in shock as he left the flat without a second glance back.

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"Now...Time for a little drinky! You can't have some. You've been too bad. I can't untie you." Smirked Gregg, "I'm gonna get a shoe!"

Howard was too shocked to even register what he had just said. His head sank as he fought back tears.

A life with Old Gregg! Oh Vince. What a mess. He thought miserably. _I must have really hurt you for you to just leave me here like that. But don't you see? You're the one I love, you silly berk!_

"SON OF A **BITCH**!"

THUD!

Howard looked up instantly to reveal a fully sprawled out Old Gregg! He had passed out after taking a swig of his precious Baileys!

"You nutcracker!" laughed Vince from the doorway, "Did you really think I would just leave you?!?!"

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One more chapter to go. Just to sum things up and give Howard and Vince the ending we all want (if you like...?).

**Hope you enjoyed! xxx**


	7. Chapter 7

**Looks like this is it...the end! I'm so, so glad people enjoyed it. Thank you for the amazing response - each review made this simple girl extremely happy :D **

This chapter is for all who reviewed. Luv you xxx

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**Beechwood0708: We think alike! (I'd rather review than do essays lol!) You were the 1st review so thanks so much! xx **

Chugirl2345: Bless ya! I totally agree, Vince can charm me anytime!

SparkieSteph: Thanks for so much encouragement and feedback. You're a total star! xx

Stars of andromeda: Hope the ending pleases you... So loving your cute stories - please keep it up!

JapanFan Kyoko: Your reviews made me smile so thanks :)

Shadowtheo: I love your stories They're so different. Keep it up please?!?!?

Mommys-Little-Nightmare: Of course he wouldn't leave him! Glad you enjoyed.

Azzy494: Happy to oblige! x

Violence4: KEEP WRITING pleeease?! And thanks (of course!). Chocolate Milk!

And thanks to anyone I may have accidentally forgot (sorry! xx) and to anyone who may review in the future (I wish!)

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Ok, I promise that's it! I'll just get on with what you really want to read...

Warning: Vince and Howard's happy ending. So what do you expect?!

Disclaimer: Do I really have to put it again?! It's Noel's and Julian's. Not mine!

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"I can't believe you did that!" Howard shrieked loudly as he lightly whacked Vince around the head.

"That's the thanks I get?!" Vince laughed dodging too late, "I drag myself down here-when I could have gone shopping, then I practically fight off a fishy pervert and untie you, only to receive a wallop round the noggin for my efforts! Charming!"

"It wasn't a wallop. It was barely a tap!" Howard reasoned.

"How do you know? You're not in my mind. You don't know how much pain you've inflicted upon me!" Pouted Vince dramatically, but he was still smiling.

"Come here then," Grinned Howard shyly, stepping away from the chair that was once his prison. He reached out gently to touch Vince's hair.

"What you doing?" Asked Vince, stepping away slightly.

"Bump checking. Checking for bumps. I may have caused them when I so brutally attacked you!" He mocked, but his tone was kind and caring. Vince's heart melted as his hand made contact with his soft raven hair.

"Feels fine." Howard whispered as he ran his hand gently through it. Vince's eyes closed at his soft touch.

"My plan worked then?!" Shouted Naboo as he charged through the door followed my Bollo. The two men leapt apart in an instant. The moment was once again lost.

"Uh-huh. Yeah-yeah. Sure," Stammered Vince all the while thinking; _What on Earth was that all about? Was Howard just going to kiss me? And did I really let him touch **my hair**?!?! Electrifying? Too right! And I thought I_ _was electro boy...I'm surprised my hair aint standing on end! Oh God...I hope it isn't!_

As Vince hopped around looking for a shiny surface, the other three friends circled the sleeping merman.

"Wh-what are we going to do with him?" Asked Howard - recovering. It was all Vince needed to hear to know that Howard had felt the magic too.

"We take him to Black Lake on magic carpet." Grunted Bollo in his monotone growl.

"What if he wakes up?!" Asked Howard, understandably alarmed.

"He won't." Said Naboo "That was a Shay-medative. The most powerful sleeping drug known to man. He'll forget all about these last few days too."

"Oh. Well good." Exhaled Howard.

"Me and Bollo'll handle this. You and Vince should go home." He continued. And as Bollo lifted Old Gregg out of the flat, Naboo did a cheeky wink at Vince.

"Tell him," He whispered in Vince's ear on his way out.

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The short walk home had been in complete silence (except for Vince humming "Cars" to calm himself!). But it was not one of awkwardness, but more of quiet anticipation. Vince certainly wasn't going to say anything to Howard until they were safely home.

"Wow, what a mad day huh?" Exclaimed Howard, kicking off his shoes as they entered the living room.

"And tell me about it! He was well mad for you! I never quite believed you that he was that obsessive!" Giggled Vince.

"Why not?" Asked Howard, sounding a little annoyed, "Am I really that unattractive to you?"

Vince was startled by his tone.

"No, no! It's not that at all!" he gabbled. "You're totally attractive!"

D'oh! Cool it Vince!

"It's just you do have the slight tendency to over exaggerate things sometimes. That's all I meant!"

"Oh. Right." Howard blushed. "Hang on, when do I ever do that?!"

"Howard. I'm not gonna even bother answering that!" Grinned Vince.

Howard couldn't help but smile back, feeling all warm inside. Finally safe.

He cleared his throat and changed the subject. "Anyway. How did you even know it was Old Gregg?"

"Well Nina was so beautiful...I knew something had to be up...Joke Howard!" He cried upon seeing Howard's distraught face. "I'm obviously kidding. He left his calling card! I found it when I was cleaning up the party mess with Naboo."

"Oh right! So you put two and two together - and for the** first time ever** - made four?!"

Vince looked confused, "Ummm...yeah! No wait a minute. Are you calling me thick?"

"Maybe!" Howard teased back, "Were you implying I'm an ugly person?!"

"Totally!" Replied Vince sarcastically "That's why I can't stop thinking about you!"

Ooooops! Oh no I didn't...

"What?" Asked Howard, suddenly looking serious.

Uh-oh...Quick! Say something clever!

"My tum-tum hurts!" _Aw great. That's just great Vince!_ "I mean my head hurts! I've had too much excitement. Don't know what I'm saying. Think I'll go lay down now! Bye!"

"No wait Vince!" Howard commanded, Grabbing him firmly by the shoulders, "We have to have this out! What's going on with you Vince? With us?"

Oh no. Not the big chocolate Moon eyes...I can't bare it.

"Nothing!"

"Vince." His face was soft with concern as his grip relaxed a little. "Tell me."

It was something about the way he said it. The intoxicating mixture of the sweet pleading in his voice and the firmness of his grip. He felt himself surrender.

"That kiss meant more to me than I made out it did." He whispered in a rush.

The scene of his first kiss replayed in Howard Moon's head. The eagerness of Vince's embrace lingered in his mind.

"I know...me too," Replied Howard so quietly he almost missed it.

"Really?!" Vince looked delighted.

"Well yeah." Replied Howard, glancing away from Vince's bright blue eyes. As if he were suddenly uncomfortable with the level of emotion they were both displaying.

Vince pulled his face back gently. "Howard? I lov-

"Don't say it...Not if you don't mean it. Or-or I'll..."

"Or you'll what?" Asked Vince, a teasing smile on his lips as he moved closer.

"Or I'll come at ya! Like a man who's desperately in love with you!" He cried frantically as he pulled Vince's face to his.

The kiss was incredible. Electrifying. Perfection. Both men were left breathless as they pulled away for air, dopey smiles on their hot faces.

This time there was no excuses. No Tundra frost monster was about to kill them. No demented shaman was demanding evidence of an alleged romance _(Are you kidding? We love that guy!)._

It was just the two of them. Just Howard and Vince. And that was the way it should be.

"Thanks for rescuing me Vince," Howard whispered.

"You're very, **very** welcome!"

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Hope you all enjoyed! xxx

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